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| I "borrowed" this from ING |
I wanted to do a little research before writing this. After spending a few wasted minutes on the internet my prayers were answered. Our local newspaper, The Virginian Pilot, blessedly had this editorial.
Yes, I read it. Dang, you really have to be committed to wade through all of this. I will admit that whoever came up with this had a fertile imagination or had just smoked a giant joint or both.
For this posting, I'm only concerned about the virgin birth. Yes, I have a few questions.
OK, I understand that supposedly Mary didn't have sex. I guess I could ask, why? Too dirty or yucky? Or, is it the old, Good girls don't have sex? This may have been answered in the VP article, but how was Mary chosen? Lottery? Card game? Oh, well. Was she able to give informed consent? Or, was this just forced on her?
OK, I'll give you guys that (no sex) it was the Holy Spirit that somehow made it so Mary was with child, right? How did that happen? Did he toss a magic seed that somehow ended up in Mary? Or, was this event a forerunner of what we now call in vitro? Did Mary actually have a regular pregnancy? You know, her stomach getting bigger? Craving dill pickles and ice cream? Morning sickness? Did she actually have OBGYN checks? Or, were they needed (maybe more magic)? Were the paramedics standing by in case something went wrong with the delivery? Who came up with the name Jesus? And, are you sure it isn't pronounced Heysus?
Another question. How did baby Jesus arrive? You know, He surely wasn't delivered vaginally, was He? Maybe he just popped up, if you will, in the animals' feeding trough....or, all of a sudden He was being cuddled by Mary. Maybe God sought advice from David Copperfield. No matter the answers, this was truly some heavy-duty magic. But, I guess I need to remember that God works in mysterious ways and can do anything.
Speaking of the Holy Spirit or Ghost...for some reason I thought they were all God. You know, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Amazing, sort of like the Swiss Army Knife of gods. That's kind of confusing to my pea brain. And, I'm not seeing any utility value. Why couldn't old God just do all the magic? And, why would God want to have Jesus come along if eventually, Jesus is part of him? Oh, just remembered, he has to kill Jesus so that the sins that He caused us to have (talking snake and apple) will be mitigated. Wow.
OK, am I missing something? I'm just not smart enough to be religious. It's all just too complicated for my limited intellect to make sense of.
Presently, I'm working on my third book of 55-word stories. Here's a story from my upcoming will-never-be-a-best-seller third book.
The Real Story Behind the Virgin Birth
They jammed themselves into the small area and crowded around the manger.
“What’s going on?”
“Mary’s going to have a virgin birth.”
“No way!”
“Yep.”
“How does it work?”
“Not sure.”
“It’s rumored God does it this way so he doesn’t have to pay additional child support. He’s already on the hook for six kids.”
I hope we all have our best ever new years in 2018.
“What’s going on?”
“Mary’s going to have a virgin birth.”
“No way!”
“Yep.”
“How does it work?”
“Not sure.”
“It’s rumored God does it this way so he doesn’t have to pay additional child support. He’s already on the hook for six kids.”
I hope we all have our best ever new years in 2018.
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