The Beginning....

The Beginning....
When William Least Heat-Moon toured the country many years ago, his steed, if you will, was a van that he named Ghost Dancing. His journey of America was 13,000 miles. His book is Blue Highways, A Journey Into America. My steed will be a Subaru WRX (traded for an XV Crosstrek). My travels will be, what in the past were called, the blue highways of Virginia. Years ago, maps showed secondary roads in blue. Yes, the ones less traveled.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

My Just-Bought Bicycle is Kickin' My Butt! Who Would Have Thunk It? Is My Bike Possessed? Are Demonic Spirits at Play?

My Bike Friday in its embryonic stage.
Many years ago, almost in another life, I guess I could say, I raced motorcycles. Primarily raced 1/4 dirt ovals with occasional trips to 1/2 mile tracks. Yes, we'd rocket down the straights and when coming into the corners, we'd toss the bikes (motorcycles) sideways, and using a combination of handlebar movement, steel shoe on the left foot, and throttle...we'd balance, steer, slide, and maneuver the bikes through the corners. 

Yes, I know it's been more than a few years.

What am I leading up to? 

Don't many of us say, It's just like riding a bike? Yeah, you know, you don't forget how. Just get on the bike and it'll all come back to you....

Well, that old bromide did not hold true for me! I got the bike together and adjusted the seat so that my legs would extend fully when pedaling. I knew the bike was going to be a little twitchy because of the design.....angle of the head tube, short handlebars, and small wheels. OK. I got on the seat and wobbled off...yes, just in my court. Made it to the end of the court. Stopped, and turned the bike around and headed back to my house. And, then as I applied the brake, bam, I'm on the ground. Hit on my right side. OK.....

I then decided I would only (attempt to) ride when it was dark. I surely didn't want my neighbors to witness an old guy making a fool of himself and busting his ass.

OK. Next night..... Basically the same result, though fell on my left side. Hey, I ain't got no more sides to fall on. And, hey, I'm at that age when you really don't want to break a hip. 

Consulted with my pal Eddie...... OK, lowered the seat so that I can stand flat-footed while on the seat and will try to shift the gears to a larger chain-wheel.

Need to add: I'm trying out my new camera, Fuji X100T. Theses photos are out of the camera with only slight cropping...no adjustments to contrast or color. To me they seem sharp. Hey, they should.....

Third time out, yes, remained upright. Got a better gear. And, dang, the bike really scooted along. Yes, stopped at the end of the court and turned the bike around. And, didn't fall.

Now, three briefs rides....maybe a total of 1,200 feet. Is there buyer's remorse? Nope, not at this time, though I am a little sore.... 


Yes, testing my camera......
Well, I really should stop here, but...what the heck.

I tried to see if I could figure what was wrong with the bike, if anything...or, what am I doing wrong. I ruled-out the bike being at fault and then went over what I was doing, how I was riding, to see if maybe I was making mistakes.

Hmmm..... Then, I thought. Dang, is it possible the bike is ahhhh, maybe possessed? Yeah, I know that sounds crazy. And, of course until now I had never considered that possession could even happen. But, what else could it be?



And, if it is possessed, then what?

The photo to the right was just an experiment to see how sepia would look. 

Hmmm, does the bike have an evil look to it? 

Some religions have the blessing of the animals. Yes, the Catholics do this. You know, bring your pups, guinea pigs, hamsters, cats, horses, and such to the church, and a priest all decked-out in a costume of sorts will bless them. Hmm.. 

Yes, maybe the Catholics would get involved in a blessing of bicycles. Dang, that'd be a good marketing ploy for them.

Now, what? Well, folks say prayer works! 

Nah, think I'll look for another way.

BTW, for those of you who didn't read my other post about the bicycle, my intentions were to have a small foldable bike that I could easily put in my car, to take with me to the small towns that I'm supposed to be visiting.  Also, thought it'd be good for an older person to ride a little for exercise. There are several nice paved bike trails within a few miles of where I live.


Amazing.........
Of course, if I keep falling, and I think my bike is possessed I could always seek help from Bob Larson. Do you folks know of Bob Larson? Well, he's the man for exorcisms. And, if I remember correctly, his daughters have joined him. Folks, this dude, his daughters, and the folks who show-up at his exorcism spectacles say a lot about our society. In fact, maybe I need to have a post about old Bob. Yes, he's way up there on the bizarre meter.

Actually, for any of you folks who are having difficulty in finding a job, the exorcism business might be a good gig for you. There's little outlay or possibly no outlay for equipment: just need a Holy Bible, a cross, and maybe  some magic water (hey, tap water will work fine). 


Don't I have to have training to perform these exorcisms? 

Can you shout, In the name of Jesus, come out, while smacking the possessed on the forehead? Hey, you're good-to-go. Of course, you can add a little class to your act by becoming a reverend. Yes, here's a copy of my reverendship, of which I'm mighty proud.

Oh, well. I think I'll pass on the exorcism for now. Hmmm.... And, if I decide that my bike is possessed, maybe I'll just smack myself in the head. Hey, maybe I should do that anyway.

Want one of these butt-kickin' bikes? Take a look, here.

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