What the Heck is Civility? And, Why is that Book Here on a Travel Blog?

Civility

Short definition: 

1. Courteous behavior; politeness.

2. A courteous act or utterance.

So, how am I trying to weasel in a discussion about civility on my so-called travel blog? Good question.

This is one of several books that I bought at the Yorktown Battlefield gift shop. A nice lady who ran the shop said this book is a best seller. Of course, I remarked that I was sure I could get it free on the Internet. Yes, but look at the quality of the book.

She's correct. It is a nicely- made book; should be, 30 pages and $9.95. Though I rarely buy print books  anymore, some books just need to be in print. And, this is one of those books.

And, yes, it's available free on the Internet and for your Kindle at Amazon. But, the book is definitely high quality.

So, who am I to talk about civility? Good question. I often say, well, mainly to myself, that I want to be a better person. You know, be nicer to folks, more considerate, more understanding, and primarily keep my darn mouth shut and stop trying to force people to listen to my views. And, this kind of behavior surely isn't civil.

I have over 300 videos on YouTube where I rant and rave about so-called complimentary and alternative medicine, psychics, astrology, religion, politics, and so on. Frankly, I find it just about impossible to keep my mouth shut. Yes, I'm most likely at least as offensive and pushy as a religious zealot. And, I keep telling myself to knock it off. So far, I haven't. But, I'm going to keep trying.

Yes, I do respect everyone's right to believe whatever they want; however, that doesn't mean I respect what they believe. And, yes, there's a big difference.

It seems that religion has always been thought of as special. You know, don't talk about religion and especially don't challenge someone about their religious beliefs. Does that make any sense that religion should be special? To me, it doesn't.

If we're sitting around talking about politics, baseball, NASCAR, or just about anything other than religion we feel no qualms about saying what we want. You know, Hey, the Bronco's suck. So and so, the pitcher for the Cardinals is lousy. Folks of course will argue with you, about the best pitcher, NASCAR driver, golfer, and so on;  but, you'd better stay away from religion.

I worked with the seriously mentally ill for almost twenty years. Sadly, there are folks who have what many of us call fixed delusions. Yes, these are delusions that stay with them no matter what. No amount of medication or talk therapy will change their beliefs about their fixed delusions. And, what's a delusion? Simply put, a false belief easily refuted by evidence.

If I came out, if you will, and said that I prayed to Santa Claus I doubt there would be many people who would show respect and they'd quickly tell me that it's stupid to believe in Santa Claus as a god.  But, if I say it doesn't make sense to believe in their god, it's as if I've crossed a line that we just aren't supposed to cross. Which, of course lacks all logic and reason. Shouldn't all beliefs be open to discussion?

Well, back to civility. There's civility in words and actions. How we talk to and communicate with others and how we behave.

Thankfully, I got a little head start on civility because of how my mom tried to raise my brother and me. Yep, she was a stickler for, Yes, ma'am, No, sir, holding the door for ladies and at the dinner table not acting like a complete oaf; passing the food to others, especially guests, not starting to eat until everyone had their food, and so on.

Never make fun of someone because of their ignorance or lack of education, period. If someone states that one plus two is 73, there are times when you need to keep your mouth shut. Some people seem to feel it makes them seem smarter by making fun of ignorant people. That surely isn't being civil.

Well, enough of this and back to the book. It seems that our first president copied most, if not all, of what's in this book. Supposedly, he was young, maybe 12, 13, or 14. Well, I surely don't know for sure.

OK, here are a few quotes from his book.

1st    Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.

15th  Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean, yet without showing any great concern for them. (Might add, keep your shoes clean and polished.)

40th  Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgement to others with modesty.

41st  Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes, it savours of arrogance. 

43rd  Do not express joy before one sick or in pain, for that contrary passion will aggravate his misery.

44th  When a man does all he can though it succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

56th  Associate yourself of men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company. (This is a good one. Well, they are all good.)

58th  Let your conversation be without malice or envy, for it is a sign of a tractable and commendable nature; and in all cases of passion admit reason to govern. (My emphasis.)

65th  Speak not injurious words, neither in jest or earnest; scoff at none although they give occasion.

68th  Go not thither, where you know not, whether you shall be welcome or not. Give not advice without being asked & when desired do it briefly. (Hmmmm, I need to remember this one.)

73rd  Think before you speak; pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly & distinctly. (I need to remember this one, too.)


OK, folks. It would be nice if we could all follow these rules. If you have further interest, buy the book or take to the Internet.

And, so it goes......